Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known.

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, THE ONION BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE is packed with valuable information-such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or “pail.” With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, THE ONION BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

Reviews

“A tome so replete with knowledge [that it allows readers] to win friends and influence people.” (- Entertainment Weekly )

“One of the best works that "The Onion” has ever produced…[it] dryly parodies an encyclopedia in the most comprehensive manner imaginable." (- Huffington Post Comedy )

“Forget Wikipedia, burn all your books, and snap that Encarta CD Rom in half, because The Onion has just released its BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE.” (- MSN's The Bubble )

“Leave it to the geniuses at The Onion, who have revolutionized the science of sarcasmic infoengineering in the weekly print newspaper format, to do the same for the venerable encyclopedia. Miraculously, in only 250 or so pages, they have managed to cram more meaningful information about our universe into one book than Google or Bing or even Alta Vista have been able to do with several times that number of "web pages”." (Popmatters.com )

“Extremely funny.” (Miami Herald )

“Long on laughs.” (The Economist )

“More of what The Onion does best: Make readers collapse in fits of giggles.” (Scott Coffman, Louisville Courier-Journal )

“The irreverent crew from the long-running satirical newspaper and website present a compendium of mock encyclopedia entries, lavishly illustrated. Much like any recent episode of Saturday Night Live, this faux textbook serves up a fair share of both hits and misses, although those designations will undoubtedly vary according to readers' particular interests. Those who don't find a graph of family relations hilarious ("Son: Male child who slowly turns into his father by not living up to his father's expec­tations”) may snicker at the pithy definitions that line the margins of each page (“IMAX: Type of widescreen cinematography that makes some nothing suburb feel like it's getting somewhere”). There is plenty of political satire, entertainment satire and incredibly detailed medical diagrams that could fool the unwary at first glance but that upon closer scrutiny contain labels like, “Podiatry: Field specializing in those afflicted with feet,” and “Iris: Thin tissue whose pigment actual careers and livelihoods have been based on.” While much of the text provides the sharp wit and oddball ramblings that The Onion has made its bread and butter, the true standout feature of the book is its artwork. This volume begs to be read in actual book format instead of on an electronic reader; miraculously, for the digital age, it manages to capture some of the thrill of skimming encyclopedias, Ripley's Believe It or Not! collections and other beloved fact/trivia books from the mid-to-late 20th century. And when you do come across a glimmer of the heartfelt, as in the entry on how Frank Lloyd Wright lost the love of his life, it makes the browsing experience that much richer. A grab bag well worth dipping into and a testament to the still-thriving art of book design." Kirkus Reviews

About the Author
In a history spanning 24 years, 7 popular books, and 19 Webby Awards, The Onion has attracted legions of loyal fans drawn to its fearless reporting and scathing commentary on world events, human behavior, and journalistic convention.