A dynamic memoir-in-essays by comedian, screenwriter, and podcaster Chelsea Devantez, detailing her tumultuous upbringing and uproarious career path into Hollywood. There are things Chelsea Devantez probably shouldn't be telling you. Many of them are in this book: some are embarrassing, like when she tried to break her three-year spell of celibacy using a guide of seduction tips. Some are confessional, getting sentenced to the "hell hill" at Mormon church camp. Some are TMI, a series of outrageous doctor visits that ended with one doctor misdiagnosing her as "pregnant." Woopsies! Then there are things Chelsea really shouldn't be telling you: like the time her biggest family secret was publicly outed or about the drive-by shootings and the precipitating domestic violence she survived. Yet through it all, it's the women in Chelsea's life who kept her going--from the lowest points of her childhood when she and her mom had only $100 left to their name, all the way to her career highs as the Emmy-nominated head writer for The Problem with Jon Stewart and sensational podcaster deemed "the celebrity memoir whisperer" by her fans. In this book, Devantez centers each story around a different woman who shaped her life, taking us on a tour of friends and strangers, fictional characters and celebrities, heroes and villains who will destroy any Netflix algorithm for a "strong female lead." Listening to it will feel like that moment at a party when your friend beckons you close, sloshes her martini around, and covertly whispers, "I really shouldn't say this, but..."