Five drivers. One race. Millions of tentacles. It's the year 2025 in the neon-colored nuclear wasteland that was once the United States of America. The remaining inhabitants are at the mercy of mutants, freaks, marauders, gangs, and the last millionaire in the country, the mysterious Mr. Silver. Now, five drivers must compete in a life-or-death race that will determine the fate of the planet. There's Samson, a lone wolf who buried his life in racing after he lost his wife and son. Gabby Peppermint, a cold-hearted bitch with a huge pink sledgehammer and an unrivaled thirst for blood. Junko, a cross-dressing ex-sex slave in a 1987 Honda Civic. Mama Hell, a God-fearing Christian who wears a shawl made of tattooed human skin. And Drac, a glass-skulled madman who drives a tentacled car possessing eldritch powers. Something timeless and beautiful has risen off the Eastern Seaboard, the ancient city of R'lyeh and these five racers have been called together for the most epic race in history. Tearing through a post-apocalyptic New Jersey landscape rife with mind-bending terrors, Drac, Samson, Gabby, Junko and Mama Hell will encounter things far more dangerous than each other. A tooth-tornado, nuclear mutants, cannibal Christians, a gargantuan ejaculating marionette, a friendly crab dealer, and the great city itself: the city of R'lyeh, either their doom or their salvation. It's Death Race 2000 meets H. P. Lovecraft in bizarro author Jordan Krall's best and most suspenseful work to date.