Linda Levy, a conventional high school English teacher, is dreading her fiftieth birthday. She is suffering from an empty nest, chafing under the boring predictability of her marriage, and, worse yet, sprouting unsightly chin hair. But as she contemplates all her imperfections in a magnifying mirror, Linda has no idea that her life is about to take a U-turn. After a gorgeous young night manager shamelessly hits on her, Linda somehow manages to resist the nameless man's passes. Still, she fantasizes about him, giving him bodice ripper names like Brent, Lance, and Derek, depending on the heat of the fantasy. When a run-in involving a ripe kiwi turns oddly sexy, Linda finally succumbs to temptation. While she makes excuses for his controlling behavior, he reminds her of compromising photos he took at the beginning of their liaison. But when her favorite student warns her that her "boy" is a drug dealer, Linda and a confidant develop a wacky plan they hope will force him out of her life. Their weapons of choice include tofu, air freshener, and antimacassars. But will they be able to complete their mission before it is too late? In this humorous novel, a middle-aged woman embarks on a foray into infidelity that leads her on a seductive journey she never could have imagined.