Ever consider those intoxicating moments life chooses to introduce sex to her innocents? In this gloves-off adventure you'll meet a hooker, a mare in heat and the minister's wife all playing roles in "Whitey" Spittle's sex education. When Granny dies, Whitey's divorced mother reluctantly surrenders, and farms out her ten-year-old handful to a succession of foster homes. Too young, he lacks the tools to compare and evaluate "normal," and views unfamiliar sleeping arrangements as "okay, for a kid." But it's in Saint John's School that he earns his campaign ribbons. The Sisters of St. Joseph regularly relieve him of contraband wax lips, horned toads, and wooden matches. An aversion to catechism lessons and long-division combines with classroom antics, and the nuns lock arms against their student with "storms in his head." The misguided eight-year-old flies off his garage to test-flight Grandmother's umbrella. During WWII the high school sophomore positions explosives on a local trolley track. And a fraternity "low-rider" accidentally full-throttles a borrowed Harley Davidson into the Pacific surf. Thankfully, Mother remarries and brings her "Little Jackass" home to his own bed. Things begin to fall into place, and Mother can finally exhale.