Welcome to Investing for Retards, the book that turns traditional financial advice on its head! Are you tired of the same old boring investment guidelines and the constant stress of trying to grow your wealth? Say no more! This book will teach you how to not invest in yourself, why every coin flip isn't just a coin flip, and how following market trends is about as safe as blindfolded tightrope walking. Ever wondered what the deal is with financial gurus? There's a whole section dedicated to these modern-day snake oil salesmen. With each page, you'll explore spectacular ways to mismanage a portfolio and master the art of financial flopping. Do you always see the glass as half full, even when it's leaking? This book will either fix your leak or teach you to enjoy the puddle. Are you the type who'd bet on rain in a desert? You will find kindred spirits in these pages. Are you always wondering about the whys and the what-ifs? This book teaches you how to stop worrying and learn to love the bomb. Investing for Retards doesn't promise to make you rich, but it guarantees a good chuckle and maybe, just maybe, you'll learn what not to do with your money.