INTRODUCTION This memoir is intended for mature audiences, viewer discretion is advised. It includes words & subjects as sexuality & orgasms & discusses life events boldly as I convey my experience. I lived a horrific personal & psychic experience that has isolated me into a form of aloneness because no one I have ever heard of has lived through what I did. After 10 years of silence I have reached a place to share some of my story. I was trapped immobile inside my own body & was literally forced to become a channeller in a sexual manner against my own orientation & will. Please note that I have nothing against one's personal sexual orientation or gender expression. This memoir is about the struggle to return from a devastating 30 year isolating trauma. I put a suggested 17 years age minimum, but there are of course exceptions. Some people mature faster and become sexually active sooner, even 13 years old etc. If you want to hear the story, are sexually active or considering & feel you may benefit from anothers serious life experience, then by all means read on. I am quickly & concisely revealing a personal lifetime trauma, because I believe sharing this experience can help everyone make choices - face their own challenges & heal from their own devastating life traumas. You are now part of my healing journey as I hope I can be part of yours as well. Sincerely the Author & Artist Adria Chalfin