Richard Stukk is a full-time English professor at the College of the Living Dead (otherwise known as Copequa Community College) and a part-time private eye. Born a curmudgeon and raised paranoid in New York City, he now finds himself with an overly needy house, an overly sensitive wife, and an overly used red pen. For extra cash, he becomes a suburban Sherlock taking on house-burgling landscapers, neighbor-shadowing neighbors, motorhead Gen-X druggies, and a corrupt county councilman who has got himself missing, if not murdered. All this, while fending off a cop brother-in-law, a petulant mower, and a hot colleague with her commas and curves in all the right places. Not to mention, working towards his ultimate goal--to bring down the mysterious and licentious Professor Rex Bonet (aka "King Bone"), the Moriarity of the English Department. Assaulted? Confused? So is he. Only you're just reading this and he's Stukk in the Burbs. Stukk in the Burbs: A Novel of Mystery and Mortgage Payments from Professor Richard Stukk, Suburban P.I. is a comedy of errors, both grammatical and criminal, in the land of dying lawns and stone dead literacy.