Warning: Do not attempt to read this in public. You will snigger loudly. When my teacher, Mr Fullerman, doesn't have his BEADY EYES on me, I like to draw pictures and write stories about stuff, like when we had the worst holiday ever (camping sucks), and when my parents came to school for parents' evening (groan). And about how Marcus Meldrew is the most annoying boy in the world and how I don't want to sit next to him in class. All I want to do is get tickets to see the best band ever, DUDE3, when they come to town. It's not easy when I'm up against Delia, my weirdo big sister, and all my plans seem to get me into MAJOR TROUBLE . . . again.