This book contains actual 911 and non-emergency calls that came into the San Diego Police Department Communications Division during my 19 years working as a Police 911 Dispatcher. This book represents the calls received as accurately as possible. I did not embellish them to make the calls funnier or more exciting. These are actual calls, often unbelievable, but they are real calls. This book is a way for me to portray the "real world" life of a 911 dispatcher. Some people may not understand why or how we can make light of some of the calls in this book. You may fall into that category making this book not your cup of tea. If however, you can approach this book with an open mind, and a light heart, you may gain a different perspective about 911 dispatchers then you had before. Of course, the bulk of calls coming in were true emergencies that would not be appropriate for this book. I chose mostly, the light hearted calls that would make you come away from the book with a smile, instead of a heavy heart. The Dark Side Chapter is the only chapter in this book with samples of the more serious, violent type of calls we get on a daily basis. Many of you may be amazed by the sub culture out there, and how they live on a day to day basis. Many of these calls may shock you, and have you scratching your head thinking...OMG really?!! I took my job very seriously, and would never willingly jeopardize the confidentiality, or privacy of anybody who asked for my help. Therefore, I did not use real personal names or addresses from any callers in this book without their consent. Any names or a personal address used in this book that may sound familiar is pure coincidence. I hope you enjoy this book.