Dealing with cancer is never easy, not for anyone. Dealing with cancer, a family that once thought your gay relationship was an abomination and raising 9 adopted children on a farm sure isn't easy. Watching my niece pass away before me began to test everything me and my family had ever believed. My family began to fall apart before my eyes. I knew that I was never my fathers' everything, for that spot had already been rightfully taken. I didn't even know if I could be my fathers' anything. I knew the only way for us to begin healing was to start with the farm. Our children were the ones that allowed us to smile again, at least smile without feeling guilty.