With three best sellers in as many years under his belt, not to mention those he wrote under other author's names stuffed down the back of his trousers, Jack Idle has secured both fame and immortality. Now recognised wherever he goes, he is a true living legend, which explains his use of disguises when he needs privacy, and impersonators when he can't be arsed turning up. Nothing more can or needs to be said about him. Except, it has now been over a year since he was last seen or heard from. In fact, it was that infamous day when Johnson, in his pompous ham-Churchillian way, announced the first-ever three-week UK national House Arrest, the same day a notorious sniper with the #MeToo Hit Brigade claimed that she had finally bagged him. However, when a search through the ashes of his last hideout revealed the burnt out remains of a tumble dryer, but no evidence of a washing machine, the suspicion arose that once again the authorities and bounty hunters had arrived too late, and he had made another clean getaway. Whatever the truth, in the meantime, he or one of his impersonators has lodged a patent for his much-heralded Wind-powered Audio Book, scheduled to fly off the shelves this coming Christmas, unless that or the book, or both, are banned again. If not, he may surprise us and, suppressing his modesty, return once again from his time-travels for another round of book signings, soapbox readings and product demos. Time will tell...