Learn how to satisfy a woman on the dance floor. Part guerrilla manual and part cotillion handbook, this book teaches the basic principles common to all music and dance, enabling you to walk onto any dance floor and perform an admirable dance, with any partner, to any music, with confidence and grace. This book is an insider's guide to ballroom dancing. It's for non-dancers, newbies and beginners. Whether you fear dance or can't dance or hate to dance; or whether you're rhythmically challenged or just new to dance; or whether you've finished dance classes more confused than when you started, this book has the tools a guy needs to know to make his partner happy. (Ladies, despite the title, this book will help you too.) Hear the beat, move your feet: * Learn a foolproof method for hearing the beat of the music * Learn to count music (they don't teach that in dance classes) * Learn the correct way to count step patterns * Learn rhythm: single, double and triple rhythm, the building blocks of all dances * Learn three simple rhythm patterns that will get you through any song * Chapters on: slow dancing, survival dancing, the wedding dance, how to fake a dance, and more * 17 easy exercises (most you can do without a partner) Free instructional video clips at http://ihatetodance.com JAMES JOSEPH used to hate to dance. He took his first beginners' class in 1984, and he may hold the record for the most beginners' classes ever taken. He's still taking them. Since 1996 he has trained under Skippy Blair, who is considered by many the teacher of teachers. His current aspiration in life is to become a geriatric ballroom dance gigolo on cruise ships--but he's not old enough so he kills time by writing.