Absurdist writer Jon Konrath is back with thirty pieces of flash, micro-fiction, and other post-apocalyptic weirdness. Bigger than a zine, more concentrated and complex than a novel, this new collection of bite-sized pieces is the perfect stop-gap measure between Konrath's larger works. It's also a perfect introduction to his eccentric style of random and absurd fiction. In the same tradition as the wildly popular and now out of print zine Mandatory Laxative, Help Me Find My Car Keys And We Can Drive Out! is a collection of bite-sized, gonzo, Neo-dada fiction. The author of Atmospheres and cult classic Rumored to Exist weaves a chaotic nonlinear tapestry of pop culture, heavy metal, and offensive absurdity. In addition to the titular piece, this also includes Any Religion That Promises Slaves In The Afterlife Most Likely Does Not Have Good Refreshments, Never Trust A Colon Cancer Self-Test Purchased At A Drug Store That Is 85% Minions Merchandise, Konrath Writes Too Many Stories Involving Lawn Equipment Because He Is An Idiot, and Untitled. This is an unorthodox and unconventional collection practically designed to confuse and offend. Like the rest of Konrath's work, it is a wild ride through the surreal and unconventional.