SHORTLISTED FOR 2018 KINDLE STORYTELLER UK AWARD. Touring the world....Playing in sold-out, world-famous concert halls....Accidentally insulting your Rock-Star heroes....Sex-crazed midget horses.... Ever wondered what it's like to play in a professional orchestra? Martin Willis is the Principal Percussionist with one of Scotland's five national professional orchestras and also one of the country's top freelance players. This is his memoir of thirty years not only as an orchestral player, but also as a drummer in various rock bands during that time, playing to audiences ranging from thousands across Europe and around the world, to twelve people and a bored dog in his home city of Glasgow. In turn hilarious, poignant, controversial and surprisingly informative, this explodes the myth of the 'stuffy' orchestral musician and delivers a heartfelt and honest view of Orchestra-World and some of the players, both sane and otherwise, who inhabit it."A lively account - a real insight into life in an orchestra" - Jenny Brown, literary agent