Who gives the hammiest performance in a Bond film? What is the series' most cringeworthy moment? Which Bond performed the least convincing love scene? What quips would Sir Roger Moore come out with if he starred in Skyfall; and what would the plot of Octopussy look like if expressed purely through the medium of emoji? These are the sort of questions you never knew you needed answering... until now. So pour yourself a vodka martini (dry), climb into a sleek 70s submersible Lotus (wet) and take an absurdist deep dive into the greatest movie franchise of them all. The weird and wonderful world of 007 is about to get a whole lot weirder in this shocking, positively shocking humour book. AUTHOR: Robbie Sims has worked as a cameraman, a reporter, an editor, an usher, a director, a researcher and a voice-over artist, though not necessarily in that order. He's written shows for CBeebies (Gigglebiz, Space Pirates, Kerwhizz), despite knowing next to nothing about small children. He is currently a continuity writer/announcer on a history channel telling viewers what sort of shows they can expect to see coming up (it's almost always either Nazis or trains). He's been a Bond fan since his first rainy Bank Holiday viewing of Live and Let Die at the age of five, and decided to channel his geekery into the Bond-themed comedy Twitter account @TheTchaikovsky last year. 20 b/w illustrations