When Count Dracula joins a goth band, you know it's just another day in New Orleans. After centuries of persecution, Count Dracula promises Igor to give up his old ways, get to America, and find himself a lawyer. To succeed he will have to use his blood, and with that thought in mind, he steps into the future. Waking up in a Transylvanian-forest, one-hundred-and-fifty years later, fate introduces him to the drummer of the Techno Zombies, the biggest Goth band in the world about to tour America, and strictly due to his look the Count becomes the newest member of the band. Meanwhile, in New Orleans, a newly married, handsome young lawyer is the victim of a hit and run. Dying on the way to hospital, he is ultimately transfused with vampyre blood, bringing him back to life and giving him superpowers with which he later single-handedly stops a bank robbery and draws the ire of the local mafia. Populated with loveable rogues, scheming lawyers, thieving gypsies, and their knitting needle murdering mother, this comic, tragic, and twisted tale ends in a showdown at a giant pizza pie factory, where a time-traveling wizard has hopes for an ending that will fulfil everyone's expectations until long past the conclusion of the final act.