What to Expect When You're Dead: A practical guide to the After Life. What happens when you die? Why does everyone suddenly become so serious? God has a sense of humor, so why don't Theologians? If you need help with these questions, don't worry. John Farquhar has the answers. He asked the only people who really know: the dead themselves. Farquhar's "research" is based on "over 14,000 conversations with the dead," rather than speaking with those who merely claim to have had near-death experiences. Farquhar paints a light, amusing picture of life on the Astral Plane. All these conversations have been reluctantly verified by the New Jersey Assembly of Spiritualists, Psychics, and Mediums, headquartered in Toms River. Thanks to this "original research," Farquhar has drawn up the first comprehensive guide to the Great Beyond, which will have you laughing rather than gnashing your teeth. The fact is, if you are seeing people who you thought have been dead for years, you could be dead too. Or you might just be on the edge of consciousness at a Rolling Stones Comeback concert. Prepare to laugh your way to the Pearly Gates!